Joy of Joy's

 Good day readers, 

I am so happy to have this blog back up on the internet.  This process took a lot of turns due to a lack of communication from the portal owner that knocked it off line unknowingly, then a few self-induced errors while I tried to get it back on without assistance.  So much has happened.  As a writer, blogger, etc., not having the creative outlet to "empty my head," share my thoughts, both serious and humorous was uncomfortable.

Getting the blog back up to share, brings me joy.  There is an underlying storyline here, and we will all get to it together, as I normally do.  First, what is joy?  According to my most trusted source, Merriam-Webster dictionary, the definitions vary but are related;  Joy- A feeling or state of great happiness or bliss. A source or cause of great delight.  One would say these are all positive and I agree.  

The Human Side of Humanity blog by Answerman Sez getting back online is not the only source of great delight.  Due to the trials and travails of dating, specifically dating that some of you may have read on my former blog (E-dating and the new reality), and sometimes referenced here, I actually gave up.  My friends... mostly my female friends, that I don't see often like Jilly, Nicole and Paula  always had to ask "How's your love life?" or some variation of that question.  Every time a woman became my person of interest, I was so guarded that any reminders of a past failed date, partner, whatever, would put an abrupt end to any budding relationship, so I was always dreading the question.

In short, I would not allow myself to like someone and any flaw that reminded me of the failed past was used as an exit ramp from the highway that is the relationship process.  As many of you know, I highly value those that are in the small circle of people that earned the title of "friend."  Back in October, we got a large group of people together from my old work team.  Two of the three ladies mentioned above are part of that group and include a couple others that are friends, not merely casual former colleagues.  There is a lot of love and a lot of trust between all of us, the guys, Noam and me and the ladies.  We all feel safe and happy when we are around each other.  The entire outing made me feel more comfortable.

 A few weeks later, I was out watching a soccer match at my friend Andy's pub.  Standing, as I do, but leaning on a bar stool toward the end of the bar with a few other soccer guys I knew.  In walks a woman, very comfortable with herself and takes a stool two down from me.   As the match goes on, another couple that I know comes in but in order to sit together I strategically gave up my spot, so I could go to the other side of the intriguing woman. 

I had become intrigued as she swayed and obviously moved to the music, which I had been doing myself.  At one point before giving my spot to the couple I knew, I noticed that she had noticed me, which was my ridiculous statement as an intro.  Once I moved down and introduced myself and we chatted, I said "Y'now, I really wanted to come and talk to you, because I noticed you...and noticed you noticing me."  It got a laugh and even though my friend Nicole told me that was ridiculous, it is still a normal part of my personality to verbally trot out errant thoughts.

While that afternoon wound down, I had an uncomfortable stress because I really wanted to meet her again but felt like it was almost creepy to ask for her phone number.  So I didn't.  Two days later, I told my great friend Lauren that I really messed up and lost an opportunity.  Lauren is a great listener and we both have to talk each other off the side of cliff sometimes, so she was trying to keep me positive. One half of my family are descendants of Murphy's.  The law that states, in paraphrase, Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.  Ding!  However, the day after Thanksgiving, after getting all my Christmas lights and decorations out of my shed, I decided to take a break at the pub.  

I had the Luck of the Irish instead of Murphy's Law.  In she walks, right up to me and askes for the seat next to me.  After hanging out for a couple hours, talking about cooking and parenting and sports, I had to leave. However, this time I had put enough thought into how to possibly get her number without feeling creepy.  Before I left, I pulled out my business card and I said "This is me and that cell phone number is my personal number in case you want to reach out to me."  She turns to me and says, "Are you giving me your card, your number so you can cook for me or meet me in the future?"  I said "Yes. Yes I am, but I wanted you to have all my information, so you can do all the research you want and then decide."

The next day, while hanging Christmas lights in what was nearly single digit temps I got a text.  I didn't get to it for a bit, but it was the woman I had allowed myself to like.  I hadn't mentioned it yet...but her name is Joy.  The mom of one of my friends insisted that Joy is short for Joyce.  We disagreed because Joy is a name of it's own or could be short for Joyce or Jocelyn. 

Being the goof that I am, I rehearsed a sequence of questions before our latest outing.  We were at a live music event and during the break I turn to Joy and asked "So are you a Joyce, a Jocelyn or just a Joy?"  I got a smile and "I'm just a Joy." My response "I think so too."  Yes it was on purpose-- even the couple next to us said that was well played.

The Answerman says "Small things can bring great delight.   Our friends can bring us comfort, even within ourselves.  This in turn makes us more comfortable with those around us.  Second chances don't always happen, but making the most of the added opportunity is always advisable.   A little luck can sometimes translate into a state of happiness." 

Be Good, Be Safe

Answerman