Friendship, Looking ahead but enjoying the past
Good Sunday morning! The sun is shining in Questionopolis, bringing a brightness to a new week. I have stated that we all move in one direction in life, or should- we move forward. In the best scenarios we all learn from the past, hopefully not repeating errors, missteps and also enjoying the memories. While I have been told on many occasions that I keep moving too fast those are the same folks that don't realize that I also take in a lot of what happens around me. This leads to some very vivid memories and the detailed recollected tales that I share.
The past week was one that had special meaning to me. April 17 is a special day. This is the birthday of my best friend. We all called him "Bo." It was a nickname that came from cutting off his last name, he was Brian to his family. As some readers may recall, Bo unfortunately left this earth over 11 years ago. We never got to celebrate either of us turning 40. I have very fond memories of our 28 years of sharing time, celebrating life - living experiences together. When he passed his older sister remarked that I was by far the only person outside family that had known him for such a long time.
In an ironic turn, several years ago I became friends with what was then a new neighbor, Jeff. April 17th is also Jeff's birthday. Jeff and I have a similar type of friendship as Bo and I. It was cool because Jeff was across the street while Bo moved around the country quite a bit. Stangely, the two that were my best friends couldn't stand each other. In the rare times when we could be in the same company it was like water and oil so we couldn't mix. As one of my quirks I refer to Jeff as my "best living friend." This is my way of always honoring my best friend. Jeff actually moved out of the neighborhood nearly 10 years ago but we are stilll close and get together several times a year.
Last week someone asked me if I ever fought with Bo. By fight he meant actually engage in fisticuffs. Nope, not once, which is remarkable considering the amount fights we got into with others. Literally covering each others back, some of which are legend among the somewhat larger group of friends we had at the time. As time marches on that larger group is not tight, if we see each other it is usually by casual happenstance. Bo was the toughest guy I've ever known, pound for pound and just straight up tough. At several points he wanted to fight as merely a sporting event because there wasn't anybody that challenged him that was ever up to the task. We worked out together and pushed each other but I always said no- not out of fear but respect.
To me it would have been damaging to our friendship. I had seen it with one other person in our crew, Bill. The two of them would wrestle, fight whatever and it always came down to one of them resenting the outcome. Once we got to about age 20 Bill never won and then they weren't friends anymore. Friends don't fight friends, it defies logic to me. This leads to the great memories- we had plenty of times when we didn't get along- but we got over it because we were such great friends.
At age 27 I was working 3 jobs and a big sale fell apart while I was literally on my way home and he was in town from CO. It was the sale that was going to pay off a lot of bills. Bo, who was at my rental house for all of 15 minutes got up, drove down the street and took $500, the max, out of the ATM and bought dinner for my young family too. When I was 30 I arrived home from a long day and he called me from his then Staten Island, NY home. He needed help, just bring my 4 and 8 year old daughters for the weekend. I packed them and my tools up and drove 2-3 hours. We worked that night and all of the next day in the 90 degree heat and smog so thick it made the Verrazano bridge "dissapear."
In both examples there was no question asked. That is just how our friendship worked-cover your friend's back...always. Turning the clock forward ten years, I was camping with Jeff's family for my 40th birthday. Bo had passed 10 months earlier, on Sept 10. Jeff's daughter was not on the trip, but when we got home she had used my house to host her friends. We were close enough that we had a key to each other's houses. I talked to her and forgave her after she admitted that my house had not been the scene of a crime.
Jeff was incredulous, he had seen my head nearly explode at different times, he couldn't believe that I just handled the situation. As I mentioned we are still close friends. We go on a trip together at least once a year. Tearing into his daughter or blaming him or his wife or any variety of things that I've seen from others didn't cross my mind. The friendship wasn't worth it to me. In a couple months I will be 51, and I will pause and enjoy the great lifetime of memories and my best friends that helped create them...one who will share the celebration and one that I will remember in vivid color.
The Answerman says "take a moment to enjoy some memories with friends. Look ahead to the brightness of today and creating a new memory, with friends, family and those around you." Be Good, Be Safe.
The past week was one that had special meaning to me. April 17 is a special day. This is the birthday of my best friend. We all called him "Bo." It was a nickname that came from cutting off his last name, he was Brian to his family. As some readers may recall, Bo unfortunately left this earth over 11 years ago. We never got to celebrate either of us turning 40. I have very fond memories of our 28 years of sharing time, celebrating life - living experiences together. When he passed his older sister remarked that I was by far the only person outside family that had known him for such a long time.
In an ironic turn, several years ago I became friends with what was then a new neighbor, Jeff. April 17th is also Jeff's birthday. Jeff and I have a similar type of friendship as Bo and I. It was cool because Jeff was across the street while Bo moved around the country quite a bit. Stangely, the two that were my best friends couldn't stand each other. In the rare times when we could be in the same company it was like water and oil so we couldn't mix. As one of my quirks I refer to Jeff as my "best living friend." This is my way of always honoring my best friend. Jeff actually moved out of the neighborhood nearly 10 years ago but we are stilll close and get together several times a year.
Last week someone asked me if I ever fought with Bo. By fight he meant actually engage in fisticuffs. Nope, not once, which is remarkable considering the amount fights we got into with others. Literally covering each others back, some of which are legend among the somewhat larger group of friends we had at the time. As time marches on that larger group is not tight, if we see each other it is usually by casual happenstance. Bo was the toughest guy I've ever known, pound for pound and just straight up tough. At several points he wanted to fight as merely a sporting event because there wasn't anybody that challenged him that was ever up to the task. We worked out together and pushed each other but I always said no- not out of fear but respect.
To me it would have been damaging to our friendship. I had seen it with one other person in our crew, Bill. The two of them would wrestle, fight whatever and it always came down to one of them resenting the outcome. Once we got to about age 20 Bill never won and then they weren't friends anymore. Friends don't fight friends, it defies logic to me. This leads to the great memories- we had plenty of times when we didn't get along- but we got over it because we were such great friends.
At age 27 I was working 3 jobs and a big sale fell apart while I was literally on my way home and he was in town from CO. It was the sale that was going to pay off a lot of bills. Bo, who was at my rental house for all of 15 minutes got up, drove down the street and took $500, the max, out of the ATM and bought dinner for my young family too. When I was 30 I arrived home from a long day and he called me from his then Staten Island, NY home. He needed help, just bring my 4 and 8 year old daughters for the weekend. I packed them and my tools up and drove 2-3 hours. We worked that night and all of the next day in the 90 degree heat and smog so thick it made the Verrazano bridge "dissapear."
In both examples there was no question asked. That is just how our friendship worked-cover your friend's back...always. Turning the clock forward ten years, I was camping with Jeff's family for my 40th birthday. Bo had passed 10 months earlier, on Sept 10. Jeff's daughter was not on the trip, but when we got home she had used my house to host her friends. We were close enough that we had a key to each other's houses. I talked to her and forgave her after she admitted that my house had not been the scene of a crime.
Jeff was incredulous, he had seen my head nearly explode at different times, he couldn't believe that I just handled the situation. As I mentioned we are still close friends. We go on a trip together at least once a year. Tearing into his daughter or blaming him or his wife or any variety of things that I've seen from others didn't cross my mind. The friendship wasn't worth it to me. In a couple months I will be 51, and I will pause and enjoy the great lifetime of memories and my best friends that helped create them...one who will share the celebration and one that I will remember in vivid color.
The Answerman says "take a moment to enjoy some memories with friends. Look ahead to the brightness of today and creating a new memory, with friends, family and those around you." Be Good, Be Safe.
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