Decisions
Good Day readers and followers.
Once again some time has passed since the last piece that I posted and it has been with some alarming and unnerving things that have gone on very close to home. As previously noted, I am very close with those that are my friends. The title of Friend is not one that is freely given out like stickers at a 5 year old birthday party. We may have people in our social circle but not feel any particular way about them, to me they are a social acquaintance and nothing more. I tend to check in, check on and do my best to look after those closest to me- family and my friends. Sometimes my "people" get a little concerned about me merely checking on them. I get it, really I do.
A little over a week ago was one of those times where I had to reach out to a few....and then once some of my friends were concerned- more about my worry than me, well everything seemed to be where it belonged in my close circle. Hmmm, so what happened? Well, to set the the entire picture I have to go back about 18-21 months. As part of a larger social circle there was a particular acquaintance, Bill ,that I've known for about 10-15 years, a friend of a friend and so we would see each other every once in a while. Back in 2016 at some point he was dating an unusual woman. I, myself, as previously admitted, am unusual, so I'm not judging. I will call her Bee, because that's just a euphemism for her buzzing about.
The very first time Bee decided to have a discussion with me, while Bill was engaged in a discussion elsewhere she took a deep dive into her smartphone photo collection. Flipping and scanning at warp speed through pictures and telling me short stories about each person... and then lands on a couple pic's with a very happy looking young man and herself. As Bee goes forward she says "This is my best friend, do you have any pictures with your friends?" Well of course. I take pride in my friendships and so I shared. Bee remarks at some and says, wow, you seem to have really great friends- I agreed.
In an instant she flips to another picture of her best friend and says (remember this is the first time she has ever met me) "He was calling me and I couldn't pick up the call because I was too busy at work. He committed suicide...and he just needed me to pick up the phone." I've never bee so unnerved in my life as I was that day and then spent the better part that day trying to get in touch with all of my friends....just to make sure I knew they were OK and that I was always available. Always. In turn that caused some concern on their part. All valid.
I make a point of telling my friends that I love them-so that they can hear it. To most you feel the etherial vibe- or not but hearing it is an additional warming notion. As the months progressed I would steer clear of Bee and Bill if we were at a common event. I was never comfortable around her again- I couldn't ever do anything to make someone in that situation feel better and when people playfully or seriously call you Answerman, well... having nothing at all to offer is even more unnerving.
Just over a week ago I ran into Bill again, it was about the third time I had seen him socially and without Bee in a few months. He was particularly quiet. Since we are merely aquaintances it wasn't important to me. However, as a joking type I was going to say something about his not carrying his anchor around lately-or something to that affect. I am very glad that I did not say a word. Within a few minutes as I was with another group of social acquaintances the eldest of the group, Grady said "Well, it's a damn shame what happened." "What I asked? Grady looks at me and says "Bee committed suicide...and he found her- it was a couple months ago or so."
I felt sick and unnerved again. This one person, someone that I couldn't help because they made me uncomfortable slipped off the radar. No one saw the signs- or no one noticed. Now I know why the normally jocular Bill was quiet. As I sat queasily trying to piece together what I could have or should have done it all swallowed me whole again emotionally. I went through a similar process of trying to track down some friends, tell them that I loved them and making sure they were ok until it raised enough concern on their part that I had to stop.
The Answerman says "No matter what your decisions are in life, always, always call a friend before making any decisions that may cause harm to yourself or anyone else. In turn, never pass on the opportunity to tell the people closest to you that you love them. Three simple, heartfelt words can mean enough to them that they pause and think...and feel appreciated and worthy. Worthy enough to believe that tomorrow can only get better." Be good, Be safe.
Once again some time has passed since the last piece that I posted and it has been with some alarming and unnerving things that have gone on very close to home. As previously noted, I am very close with those that are my friends. The title of Friend is not one that is freely given out like stickers at a 5 year old birthday party. We may have people in our social circle but not feel any particular way about them, to me they are a social acquaintance and nothing more. I tend to check in, check on and do my best to look after those closest to me- family and my friends. Sometimes my "people" get a little concerned about me merely checking on them. I get it, really I do.
A little over a week ago was one of those times where I had to reach out to a few....and then once some of my friends were concerned- more about my worry than me, well everything seemed to be where it belonged in my close circle. Hmmm, so what happened? Well, to set the the entire picture I have to go back about 18-21 months. As part of a larger social circle there was a particular acquaintance, Bill ,that I've known for about 10-15 years, a friend of a friend and so we would see each other every once in a while. Back in 2016 at some point he was dating an unusual woman. I, myself, as previously admitted, am unusual, so I'm not judging. I will call her Bee, because that's just a euphemism for her buzzing about.
The very first time Bee decided to have a discussion with me, while Bill was engaged in a discussion elsewhere she took a deep dive into her smartphone photo collection. Flipping and scanning at warp speed through pictures and telling me short stories about each person... and then lands on a couple pic's with a very happy looking young man and herself. As Bee goes forward she says "This is my best friend, do you have any pictures with your friends?" Well of course. I take pride in my friendships and so I shared. Bee remarks at some and says, wow, you seem to have really great friends- I agreed.
In an instant she flips to another picture of her best friend and says (remember this is the first time she has ever met me) "He was calling me and I couldn't pick up the call because I was too busy at work. He committed suicide...and he just needed me to pick up the phone." I've never bee so unnerved in my life as I was that day and then spent the better part that day trying to get in touch with all of my friends....just to make sure I knew they were OK and that I was always available. Always. In turn that caused some concern on their part. All valid.
I make a point of telling my friends that I love them-so that they can hear it. To most you feel the etherial vibe- or not but hearing it is an additional warming notion. As the months progressed I would steer clear of Bee and Bill if we were at a common event. I was never comfortable around her again- I couldn't ever do anything to make someone in that situation feel better and when people playfully or seriously call you Answerman, well... having nothing at all to offer is even more unnerving.
Just over a week ago I ran into Bill again, it was about the third time I had seen him socially and without Bee in a few months. He was particularly quiet. Since we are merely aquaintances it wasn't important to me. However, as a joking type I was going to say something about his not carrying his anchor around lately-or something to that affect. I am very glad that I did not say a word. Within a few minutes as I was with another group of social acquaintances the eldest of the group, Grady said "Well, it's a damn shame what happened." "What I asked? Grady looks at me and says "Bee committed suicide...and he found her- it was a couple months ago or so."
I felt sick and unnerved again. This one person, someone that I couldn't help because they made me uncomfortable slipped off the radar. No one saw the signs- or no one noticed. Now I know why the normally jocular Bill was quiet. As I sat queasily trying to piece together what I could have or should have done it all swallowed me whole again emotionally. I went through a similar process of trying to track down some friends, tell them that I loved them and making sure they were ok until it raised enough concern on their part that I had to stop.
The Answerman says "No matter what your decisions are in life, always, always call a friend before making any decisions that may cause harm to yourself or anyone else. In turn, never pass on the opportunity to tell the people closest to you that you love them. Three simple, heartfelt words can mean enough to them that they pause and think...and feel appreciated and worthy. Worthy enough to believe that tomorrow can only get better." Be good, Be safe.
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