Knowing, seeing, making remedies
Good day, here in the USA, Happy Independence Day! To those of of us here in greater Questionopolis, Happy Birthday! The Answerman does celebrate what it means to have lived my entire life in this country. The 4th of July is the day the country was born in the nearby metropolis of Philadelphia- also where I was born and lived for several years. You don't have to love it, you don't have to love us...but we do enjoy many freedoms that others do not. Since this blog has been read in several countries, well, there are cultural differences and in some of those places less freedom.
This is not to say that there is not some forms of oppression, repression that lead to emotional recession. Yes, it happens in our cities, neighborhoods and households -in small ways that can become large issues as time progresses. The statistical and psychological facts have been proven that events in childhood can have permanent impact. By the way - Answerman- not a fan of statistics, but the facts don't lie.
The answer is to recognize when this is happening, to know it, see it and create a solution- a remedy. All of us contribute to our own life situations and directly affect those around us in both negative and positive ways. The "not-my-problem" statement is too frequently stated. It's everyone's "problem." Agree to disagree. We can all look forward by examining the past. Appreciate the good, and great things that happened. Think about the events that were negative and with an adult mind create solutions for yourselves, your family, community etc.
I'm not saying we should spend this holiday dredging our personal horrors and seeking out our parents/people from the past for an open dialogue. Nope, that is a buzzkill. The reality is we know what made us happy or unhappy. By appreciating what that meant to each of us we can then project forward with a remedy. Contribute in a positive way to the world. Believe me-you will feel better by actively being involved. Life is busy, very busy and sometimes we don't realize what our actions mean to another person.
I've blogged about many things and at the heart of it is the responsibility we should all embrace to protect our children and make life better. I've made decisions to be actively involved in the community by coaching. It started with my own children. I had experienced great coaching and some real idiots that ruined my experiences. There are predators out there too. It's scary, so being involved is an active level of protection. (My daughters still think I'm a superhero because I told them they were okay as long as I was around- on the field and in life). Parents are superheroes. Real parents, the one's raising and shaping the minds of our young.
As life pushes forward I really relate to the great lyric "I will never forget your face...sometimes I can't remember my name." (1999, Duritz, A., Mrs. Potters Lullaby). Like I said, life is busy. I have an active role in raising the little question mark in my life, my granddaughter. The smiles, laughter and questions she asks blind me to the tantrums. The smiles make me smile. Taking a step outside the family to the community- we also have an impact and you may not know it.
I ran into a couple that I had known from years ago. I coached their daughter. We made time to catch up for a few minutes. It was a great little meeting, they asked about some of the other players from that squad - which won a championship. They were fun, energetic, normal 10-14 year old girls for the years that I coached them. "Normal" 10-14 year old girls are a mix of sweetness, pepper, vinegar and napalm...handle with care! The tall young woman that entered the conversation, their daughter that we called "V" was now a fourth year nursing student. They all still call me "Coach."
Toward the end of the conversation I mentioned that I had just worn the "champions" shirt that the parents made for us, "V" said she did too! I'm shocked it still fits her since it was from 8 1/2 years ago. V said her friends made fun of her because it was from so long ago, but she said it was such a special team and great memory that she would wear it until it fell apart. It was a great little thing to happen just before the holiday.
"The remedy is the experience." (2002Mraz, J . The Remedy). The Answerman says "we all possess our own magic to solve future problems by creating great experiences now. Sometimes those solutions are based in the past." Happy 4th of July.
This is not to say that there is not some forms of oppression, repression that lead to emotional recession. Yes, it happens in our cities, neighborhoods and households -in small ways that can become large issues as time progresses. The statistical and psychological facts have been proven that events in childhood can have permanent impact. By the way - Answerman- not a fan of statistics, but the facts don't lie.
The answer is to recognize when this is happening, to know it, see it and create a solution- a remedy. All of us contribute to our own life situations and directly affect those around us in both negative and positive ways. The "not-my-problem" statement is too frequently stated. It's everyone's "problem." Agree to disagree. We can all look forward by examining the past. Appreciate the good, and great things that happened. Think about the events that were negative and with an adult mind create solutions for yourselves, your family, community etc.
I'm not saying we should spend this holiday dredging our personal horrors and seeking out our parents/people from the past for an open dialogue. Nope, that is a buzzkill. The reality is we know what made us happy or unhappy. By appreciating what that meant to each of us we can then project forward with a remedy. Contribute in a positive way to the world. Believe me-you will feel better by actively being involved. Life is busy, very busy and sometimes we don't realize what our actions mean to another person.
I've blogged about many things and at the heart of it is the responsibility we should all embrace to protect our children and make life better. I've made decisions to be actively involved in the community by coaching. It started with my own children. I had experienced great coaching and some real idiots that ruined my experiences. There are predators out there too. It's scary, so being involved is an active level of protection. (My daughters still think I'm a superhero because I told them they were okay as long as I was around- on the field and in life). Parents are superheroes. Real parents, the one's raising and shaping the minds of our young.
As life pushes forward I really relate to the great lyric "I will never forget your face...sometimes I can't remember my name." (1999, Duritz, A., Mrs. Potters Lullaby). Like I said, life is busy. I have an active role in raising the little question mark in my life, my granddaughter. The smiles, laughter and questions she asks blind me to the tantrums. The smiles make me smile. Taking a step outside the family to the community- we also have an impact and you may not know it.
I ran into a couple that I had known from years ago. I coached their daughter. We made time to catch up for a few minutes. It was a great little meeting, they asked about some of the other players from that squad - which won a championship. They were fun, energetic, normal 10-14 year old girls for the years that I coached them. "Normal" 10-14 year old girls are a mix of sweetness, pepper, vinegar and napalm...handle with care! The tall young woman that entered the conversation, their daughter that we called "V" was now a fourth year nursing student. They all still call me "Coach."
Toward the end of the conversation I mentioned that I had just worn the "champions" shirt that the parents made for us, "V" said she did too! I'm shocked it still fits her since it was from 8 1/2 years ago. V said her friends made fun of her because it was from so long ago, but she said it was such a special team and great memory that she would wear it until it fell apart. It was a great little thing to happen just before the holiday.
"The remedy is the experience." (2002Mraz, J . The Remedy). The Answerman says "we all possess our own magic to solve future problems by creating great experiences now. Sometimes those solutions are based in the past." Happy 4th of July.
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