The Halo

Good day readers, followers.  If you really care about it, Happy Valentine's Day.  As for me, this is merely another day.  I have long felt that Valentine's day was just a commercial push for sales.  This blog isn't about Valentine's day, I just happen to be writing it on February 14.  I've written a past piece about this day and it's supposed history.  This piece is about the goodness of humanity. The positivity and morality that everyone can possess but don't always exhibit. Due to the common lack of these qualities when someone specifically does, well, it shines through.  A bright light, like a halo in the darkness.

A halo, the mythical circular light that appears above the head of those who exude goodness. The light is reserved for only those with the qualities of an Angel, closest to perfection.  Now, we are all human, so there is no such thing as perfection.  We are all as I've long said- perfectly human.  Part of being human means that we have imperfections, flaws- we make mistakes...and that is okay.  I try to be a good person, to live each day to make life better in some way for the people around me.  I treat people the way that I would like to be treated.  There is no exceptional effort needed to say "please" or "thank you."

However, there are times some people go to extraordinary lengths to be good, to be human, to improve the immediate world around them.  I am a competitive person by nature.  Sometimes that is good, sometimes not so good.  There are times that I compete with myself to do better, to make the world better - but it can be mentally wearing.  

There are times that I just want something to be better for someone else that I don't pay attention to myself.  These are times when it it good to have friends.  A friend who can tell you to slow down, to tell you that "You are a good person."  The friend who is aware enough and confident enough to tell that we can't change the universe by ourselves.  Still, it is nice to be recognized as a good person.

I am not alone in this life venture for the improvement of life, creating goodness for humanity.  As human nature goes we tend to surround ourselves with people that have a common system of ethics, morals and beliefs. Our friends tend to have this common set of beliefs.  As previously written, I do not hand out the title of "friend" like it came out of a gumball machine.  Friendship is earned. It is earned based on the value of the person, their ethics, moral compass- how they live their life.

 I have a few close female friends.  Paula, the closest to actually having a sister that I will have in my life, I love her dearly.  Nicole -we shared the darkest days of our lives together at a time when we each needed someone to lean on so hard that we kept each other standing straight.  Nicole doesn't metaphorically  kick my ass like Paula, but she keeps me smiling and I love her too.  

Then there is Lauren.  The same name as my older question mark and daughter. Lauren wanted to be my friend, and she is my friend.  Lauren didn't understand the Answerman Friendship Qualifications or AFQ's.  It doesn't matter.  Lauren is a gem of a person. There are very few people on earth that I would entrust with the safety of my Granddaughter.  Lauren is one of the very few.  Lauren has all her rough edges on the outside, not unlike me- but goodness to the core. Lauren is 100% real all of the time.

I know the great vibe I get when someone tells me that they can see the goodness in me.  When that happens I make sure that I share the sentiment.  Share the positive energy.  Recently, I referred to Lauren's good deeds as her "halo."   Someone... no, actually more than one of her family members needed help.  Lauren stopped her entire life to take care of them. I have been there, it is mentally and physically draining.

The stress she was feeling was palpable.  I said "Sometimes its tough to wear the halo, but I want you to know that you're a good person."  That statement meant more than anyone would think, enough to make her smile.  We all need to smile.  The momentary "vacation" from reality, the happy moment that brings the smile lightens the load of life.  

There is also something to the common experiences of life that adds credence to the words, whether it is "wearing the halo" or "I've lived that moment."  The nickname of Answerman was given to me as a joking default by my family and friends, all of whom come to me for solutions to a life issue or merely for an answer to something trivial or a true dilemma.  The pre-cursor to Ask.com was called Ask-Jeeves.  One of my colleagues back two decades ago said in a meeting "forget Ask-Jeeves, just ask him," pointing to me.  There is, however a certain gravity to being the person everyone comes to for help, for answers, solutions etc.  In my competitive nature I felt that I was a failure if I didn't provide some sort of solution.

Lauren is my brethren in the latter thought.  If I am Answerman, Lauren is to her family and friends the Solution...but I will just call her The Halo.  Bright, expressive and friendly on a good day.  Effervescent, honest but breathless on a challenging day.  Always trying to be bubbly despite whatever challenges, always honest with her emotions.  There is no shame to wearing your feelings on your proverbial sleeve.  

Forget the adage "Heavy is the head that wears the crown."  Those that are relied upon to provide answers, solve life's challenges and always "be there" carry an extra weight.  Those that embrace the challenge of being that person carry an even heavier load. Heavy is the head that wears the halo is more appropriate.

The Answerman says "Treat humanity the way you would want you and your family to be treated.  Recognize the people in your life that are providing care, solutions, friendship and effort.  It starts with saying "please" but doesn't end with saying "thank you."  Tell the good people that you recognize their investment in humanity whether for you or the world.  It makes a difference.  The Halo may burn brightly, but it can be heavy."

Be Good, Be Safe, 

Answerman