We all need to Laugh

 Good day readers and followers.  Pandemic depression has gotten many of us down.  I like to laugh and as my friends know, when I do it registers on the Richter scale.  I'm neither shy nor embarrassed by it.  One former colleague infamously said that I should laugh "quieter" especially on a date or I would scare the woman away.  Whatever.  I'm loud, boisterous and sarcastic.  Here in 2021 I have started piecing together excerpts from my former blog that was called E-Dating and the New Reality. 

As I mentioned last week, while the e-dating reality wasn't much fun at the time, it sure was better than putting on a mask and walking around with hand sanitizer.  Most of us couldn't even imagine dating anyone right now.  However, in reading back some of those pieces from the blog I ended four years ago made me laugh out loud.  Sometimes at my own expense.  I am sharing some excerpts that others enjoyed all the way back in 2016-17.

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I did actually, literally,  trip and fall over myself at the site of a beautiful woman with a pleasant sounding voice and, as you may expect, gorgeous curly red hair. If one of my friends is reading this you're most likely also falling down laughing because you have a mental picture.  I walk/move fast and with the laws of physics taking me one way and the laws of attraction taking me another it's a Youtube worthy funny moment if it were ever captured.  I had to halt after literally falling all over myself once I realized that I had a better chance of actually getting a date with someone on an e-dating site since I was hours from home.

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I once had a date change her mind:

I was wondering who in their right mind cancels a date after declaring "I think we are really compatible, I really like talking with you and I can't wait to meet you."  Then declares upon the attempt to reset "I'm not feeling it, we are better off not meeting." I answered my own question (remember-I'm Answerman,).  The right mind part is the answer to the question.  Yes, yes I am definitely better off.  The event triggered more wonderment about the e-dating process and ease of disposing of someone and it really turned me off to the new reality.  

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Hmmm, hmmm, hmm, then there was the woman with 26 pictures and hardly anything written in her profile.  Despite the old saying that every picture is worth 1,000 words-they're not. However, they do tell a story, short, direct and hers was I love myself and the lens of this camera.  I don't have any friends because almost no one else took a picture of me, in fact no one else cared to get into any of my pictures.  I'm hoping you find me likable even though the complete image I project is that only I like me- but I like me a lot. A whole lot.  You can tell from my 15 selfies.

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If you post multiple pictures and you have the same expression I believe you have PBF or Permanent Bitch Face and that projects a negative message.  The double whammy was the woman with PBF who was wearing a T-shirt with a word on the front but it wrapped around her chest so the only part visible was H-A-T-E.  Man, what a great find, not for a date- just my blog.  

On the e-sites you can also choose your screen name.  Some women were not too careful, just like the pic from HATE girl that I mentioned above. Embedded in one was the word Insane.  Whoops, swipe left. The going- for- the- gold name of the week was NoworNever.  Thank you!  I went with never.  I was reading a profile on one site and the ever present suggestions that "you will also like the following" came up.  Very strangely there were several Jeannines on the list.  I dated a Jeannine, her profile name would be Indecisive.  

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Once I went to a live, in-person event arranged by one of the dating sites and commented;

There was a male to female ratio of  about 65%/35%.  Most of the men were over 55, most of the women were overweight.  . 

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I used to post a weekly list of best or worst screen names and an opinion of what NOT to include;

I've mentioned before, your screen name should exclude certain words and Crazy is at the top of that list.

This week's finds;  Catcrazy (you're getting deleted), Horsecrazy (the same) and the comical enough for me to stop and read Baconmecrazy.   

Worst screen name;        Imwatchingyou - creepy.
Sad  screen handle:        IsLonely- maybe too honest, but then there's really no such thing.
One to induce laughter: Unrulysexgoddess - Hey, I wasn't trolling in a place like Tinder, just in the deep pages of my supposed profile matches on one of the more reputable sites.  If that is honest, well...hmmm.  Oh, sorry, I was distracted.

Answerman says "There are almost 900 dating sites, Crazy means the same thing on all of them.  If your pictures also show a few loose screws we  will still swipe left.  Smile, it really helps and be honest but not honestly desperate."

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On the subject of time, distance and limiting the dating pool;

What else, what else, ah yea this one;  "Post Doctoral Education required."  Are you looking for a date or a research partner?  I'm the Answerman so I will let you in on something- only 3.16% of  the US population has a PhD, MD, or any doctoral degree.  Some of them are already married.  You are an Always Been Single (ABS) because your dating pool is very, very shallow.   You may be as well.  You can have a great intellectual discussion with people of all educational levels - You're welcome.  Remember, Bill Gates changed the world, literally, and he dropped out of college.

Curiosity of the week;

"I'm looking for someone who is comfortable in their own skin."  Man I hope so- because if not, then she wants to date a reptile...and we know that they can be cold blooded.  There's a really negative connotation to "the guy is a snake."  Know what I mean?  What if.... nevermind.

Fave Quotes;

"Mosquitoes love me."  I was disappointed to find that Missbugbait had her age parameters set under my age.  The whole offbeat profile was great but I believe that the age limits are set in stone unlike other profile wish list items.  What does the Answerman consider flexible items; height, cooking ability and food group preference.  Which brought someone to my eyes that I would say is my honest read of the week.

"I'm a vegetarian, I'm looking for a vegetarian.  I live in a small town so I know that has limited my dating prospects and is probably why I'm still single."  Probably right.  I saw that she had the good sense to expand her dating radius far enough that it did in fact reach outside her town in the mountains because it reached me.

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The Answerman says "Covid sucks. Laughter heals.  I hope we can all get vaccinated, get out and hug each other again.  For now stay safe and I will get some more original pieces out soon."