Gratitude

 Good day readers and followers.  Happy Thanksgiving, which will be over here in the states by the time I get this piece completed and posted.  The "holiday season" is in full swing and is a time that used to be my favorite part of the year. Living in the east/ mid-atlantic region of the USA we have the change of seasons and the autumnal equinox brings cooler weather, bright colors of yellow, red, and orange on the leaves then transitions to colder temperatures and hues of blue and purple as the leaves fall.  Hence the "Fall" season.

I am very grateful for every day.  Every day that I have been given that some of my dearly departed and very missed friends were not given in this life.  However, that is also part of what changed me.  What changed my thought of the favorite time of year.  I choose my friends in a very delicately selective way.  In a way that those closest to me make fun of me...but it is also why I so much miss those friends that I have lost.  

In the "inner circle" or closest grouping of friends of mine, is another where the late Autumn, early Winter changeover is also less than joyful at times.  We have both traditionally leaned on each other through these holiday seasons.  We have leaned on one another in a way that it was, in my common phrase "just enough to keep each other standing straight."  Never so much that the weight of our thoughts or situations would knock the other over.  In other words, support without becoming overwhelming. 

I think of my friends that have passed this time of year: Bo, the best friend I've ever had- we never got to celebrate our 40th birthdays, because he died when we were both only 39. We did so much together and yet missed so much more.  Romano, who was a "cancer survivor," He had a horrible accident and didn't go to his oncologist during his two years of recovery from the accident.  A secondary cancer arose and took over.  Romano died a couple months after Bo in 2005.  Gale, the effervescent barrel of a man, who worked as a Corrections Officer in a maximum security prison.  Gruff, tough but never too tough to say "I love you, buddy" then follow it up laughingly with "just don't wind up in my prison, 'cause I can't help you there buddy."  Gale died in an accident the Saturday before Thanksgiving in 2017, just hours after we finalized plans for me to spend the Thanksgiving weekend with he and  his wife.  Instead we held Gale's memorial services the two days after Thanksgiving, 2017.  

My friend Nicole and I have long supported each other in times of trial and crisis.  The holiday season has been some of that time. Nicole is that aforementioned part of the inner circle from two paragraphs up ☝. We have been friends for a long time. I understand my challenges with the losses of my own, as she does hers...but we both understand each other's too.  The commonality brings empathy.  Knowing a friend understands you is comforting.  To receive that support is tremendous; to give it in return is immeasurably rewarding.   We don't speak too frequently but stay in touch and always look after each other.  Life is sneaky.  You gotta have friends.  You gotta have friends when life sneaks up and reminds you of something you don't want to remember. I have Nicole, she has me to lean on when the daylight gets shorter and all through the year.  

All of us have to remember that we have friends that will be the willing ear to listen, and maybe even give advice that we don't want to hear.  I, and my closest friends can speak freely, unfiltered truths to each other.  I am very direct, or as I say "I have no gray areas."   Nicole and some of my other friends are too.   This year, as we come out of any pandemic restrictions, we all get to see more people, to have more conversations in person.  I am one who needs the socialization.  I try to give as much as support, effort, advice and positive energy as possible.  Being human, I have my down times, but I try to remember all the greatness of life and friends in my life and to be appreciative.

The months long war in the Ukraine is horrifying.  There is a large local Ukrainian community and when speaking with some of those neighbors-- their pain is palpable.  This is another reason why I am so grateful to live here in the USA.  There is plenty of unnerving and unnecessary violence in the city of Philadelphia, which I have written about this year.  However, we are neither attacked nor bombed just because a neighbor wants our land or because we don't pay homage to their leader.  It is for this reason that I pause when negative energy creeps into my mind, soul and body. 

The Answerman says "Give thanks for the ease of which we can conduct our daily routine.  Pause to stop the negative energy when it starts.  Be grateful for those around you while appreciating those that have passed - but gave color to our life experience.  The greatest friend is usually no more than just 10 digits away to lend support."

Be Good. Be Safe, and most of all be grateful.

Answerman